It’s possible for breakups to feel like emotional earthquakes. You’re creating dreams with someone one day, and then you’re left standing silent the next. You’re not alone if you’ve been wondering how to get over a breakup. At some point in their lives, almost everyone feels the pain of heartbreak. The pain is genuine, and the healing process can seem overwhelming, regardless of how abruptly it ended or how gradually it fell apart.
The good news is that with the correct techniques, patience, and self-compassion, it is possible to learn how to get over a breakup. This article examines tried-and-true methods for physical, mental, and emotional healing so you can regain your strength and happiness. By the end, you’ll understand how to flourish after a breakup as well as how to survive it.
Why It’s So Difficult to Learn How to Get Over a Breakup
Your brain responds to love in a similar way to when you stop using drugs. Dopamine and oxytocin, which produce feelings of joy and attachment, are released by emotional bonds. It can feel like your whole system is crashing when you lose that connection. Because of this, learning how to get over a breakup frequently causes more pain than people anticipate.
You might find yourself reliving past events, doubting your value, or wishing for peace. Although this cycle is typical, it need not continue indefinitely. You start regaining control the moment you make the decision to actively heal. [1]
1. Accept the Reality of the Breakup
Acceptance is the first step to learning how to get over a breakup. Suffering is only prolonged by denial. Many people hold onto the hope that things will return to normal, but acknowledging that the relationship is over is necessary to move on. Healing is possible once you stop fighting reality. [2]
2. Allow Yourself to Grieve
Emotional suppression is unhealthy. Allow yourself to cry, think, and feel depressed if you’re learning how to get over a breakup. Grief is evidence of emotional investment, not weakness. In order to heal, those emotions must be respected rather than ignored. [3]
3. Cut Contact to Create Space
Making space is one of the best strategies for how to get over a breakup. Emotional wounds are kept open by constantly checking their social media or texting them just to talk. Cutting off contact is a way to protect your heart while it heals, not to show hatred. [4]
4. Seek Therapy for Breakup Healing
A lot of people undervalue the value of expert assistance. Therapy for breakup recovery offers a secure setting for processing feelings if you’re having trouble getting over a breakup. Skilled therapists can help you regain your sense of self-worth, provide coping mechanisms, and support you through challenging emotions. Breakup therapy is a show of bravery, not weakness. [5]
5. Rebuild Your Daily Routine
Your routine might feel disrupted following heartbreak. Confusion and loneliness may result from the void left behind. Adding structure to your day is part of learning how to get over a breakup. Establish daily goals, eat well-balanced meals, exercise, and wake up at regular times. Your mind adjusts to change more quickly the more stability you give it. [6]
6. Lean on Supportive Friends and Family
Recovery is more difficult when isolated. Rather than withdrawing, surround yourself with positive people. The emotional load can be lessened by being honest about your suffering. While working on how to get over a breakup, keep in mind that love isn’t limited to romantic relationships. [7]
7. Focus on Self-Care
Self-care is survival, not luxury. Emotional healing is aided by proper skincare, meditation, a balanced diet, and adequate sleep. Focus on routines that make you feel loved, even if that love originates internally, if you’re learning how to get over a breakup. [8]
8. Avoid Rebound Relationships
Many people think that the quickest way to move on is to start dating someone new right away. Rebound relationships, however, frequently postpone genuine healing. In order to learn how to get over a breakup, you must first mend past hurts before beginning a new one. Otherwise, you’re followed by unresolved pain. [9]
9. Rediscover Your Identity
Personal identity is frequently blurred in relationships. It’s time to rediscover your identity outside of romantic relationships. Set goals for your career, travel, or engage in hobbies. In reality, learning how to get over a breakup is a journey of self-discovery. [10]
10. Use Journaling for Emotional Release
Writing down your ideas can help you process your feelings in a therapeutic way. You can track your progress, let go of pent-up anger, and show gratitude for the lessons you’ve learnt by keeping a journal. By putting pain into perspective, this technique teaches you how to get over a breakup. [11] [12]
11. Believe in New Beginnings
Accepting the prospect of a new chapter is the most effective how to get over a breakup step. Although it can feel like the end, heartbreak also presents an opportunity for growth. Have faith that love, friendships, and new opportunities will present themselves. You are one step closer to a better future with each day of recovery. [13]
The Role of Therapy for Breakups
When it comes to breakup recovery, professional therapy is transformative. Therapists provide coping mechanisms for depression, anxiety, and intrusive thoughts. Therapy can help you learn healthier coping mechanisms for emotions if you’re having trouble figuring out how to get over a breakup. From support groups to cognitive-behavioral therapy, breakup therapy offers a path to recovery that you might not discover on your own. [14]
Common Mistakes to Avoid When Learning How to Get Over a Breakup
Mistakes can slow the healing process, but it doesn’t happen overnight. Don’t measure your progress against that of your ex. Avoid following them on the internet. Don’t use alcohol or unhealthy diversions to dull the pain, and stop placing all the blame on yourself. How to get over a breakup calls for perseverance, and kicking bad habits hastens healing. [15]
Long-Term Benefits of Mastering How to Get Over a Breakup
You will experience long-term advantages after learning how to get over a breakup. You develop self-love, emotional maturity, and resilience. You no longer have unresolved baggage, which improves future relationships. Above all, you get back in charge of your life. [16] [17]
Conclusion
Although learning how to get over a breakup is a very personal experience, it is also a universal one. You can turn suffering into strength by embracing the situation, grieving, going to therapy, and rediscovering who you are. Although they may seem like endings, breakups frequently mark the start of personal development, healing, and self-discovery. Recall that the objective is to proceed with courage and discernment, not merely to move on.
FAQs
1. How long does it take to get over a breakup?
The timeline varies, but most people begin to feel better after several weeks to months, depending on the relationship’s depth.
2. Can therapy for breakups speed up recovery?
Yes. Therapy for breakup recovery provides tools, coping strategies, and emotional support that can significantly reduce healing time.
3. Should I stay friends with my ex while learning how to get over a breakup?
It’s best to create space first. Friendship may be possible later, but immediate contact often hinders healing.
4. Is it okay to date someone new while still healing?
Jumping into a rebound can complicate emotions. Take time to fully heal before starting a new relationship.
5. What’s the most important thing to remember about how to get over a breakup?
Healing takes time, patience, and self-compassion. Every step you take brings you closer to emotional freedom and a stronger version of yourself.
References
Details
1. Lakey B, Orehek E. Social support and health: Theory, measurement, and intervention. In: Schütz E, Sørensen K, editors. Health Promotion in Health Care – Vital Theories and Research. Cham (CH): Springer; 2021. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK585650
2. Tabanico JJ, Proulx CM, Berkel C, Greenfield EA, Hecht ML. Trajectory of depressive symptoms in the context of romantic relationship breakup: Characterizing the natural course of response and recovery in young adults. J Affect Disord. 2024;368:79-87. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39092184
3. Currier JM, Neimeyer RA, Berman JS. Assisting the bereaved: A systematic review of the evidence for grief counselling. Death Stud. 2008;32(6):507-36. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26415735
4. NHS Inform. Bereavement and grief self-help guide. NHS Scotland; 2023. Available from: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/bereavement-and-grief-self-help-guide
5. National Comorbidity Guidelines. Managing grief and loss. Australian Government Department of Health; 2022. Available from: https://comorbidityguidelines.org.au/grief-and-loss/managing-grief-and-loss
6. Currier JM, Neimeyer RA, Berman JS. Assisting the bereaved: A systematic review of the evidence for grief counselling. Death Stud. 2008;32(6):507-36. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26415735
7. NHS Inform. Bereavement and grief self-help guide. NHS Scotland; 2023. Available from: https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/bereavement-and-grief-self-help-guide
8. Lakey B, Orehek E. Social support and health: Theory, measurement, and intervention. In: Schütz E, Sørensen K, editors. Health Promotion in Health Care – Vital Theories and Research. Cham (CH): Springer; 2021. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK585650
9. Malouff JM, Schutte NS. Efficacy of journaling in the management of mental illness: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Br J Health Psychol. 2022;27(3):889-910. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35304431
10. Tabanico JJ, Proulx CM, Berkel C, Greenfield EA, Hecht ML. Trajectory of depressive symptoms in the context of romantic relationship breakup: Characterizing the natural course of response and recovery in young adults. J Affect Disord. 2024;368:79-87. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39092184
11. Currier JM, Neimeyer RA, Berman JS. Assisting the bereaved: A systematic review of the evidence for grief counselling. Death Stud. 2008;32(6):507-36. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26415735
12. Malouff JM, Schutte NS. Efficacy of journaling in the management of mental illness: a systematic review and meta-analysis. Br J Health Psychol. 2022;27(3):889-910. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35304431
13. Smyth JM, Hockemeyer JR, Tulloch H, Schorr J, Stone AA. Online positive affect journaling in the improvement of mental distress and well-being: Randomized controlled trial. JMIR Ment Health. 2018;5(3):e11290. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30530460
14. Tedeschi RG, Calhoun LG. Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence. Psychol Inq. 2004;15(1):1-18. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK585650
15. National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH). NIH networks to advance emotional well-being research. Bethesda (MD): National Institutes of Health (NIH); 2021. Available from: https://www.nccih.nih.gov/news/press-releases/nih-networks-to-advance-emotional-well-being-research
16. National Comorbidity Guidelines. Managing grief and loss. Australian Government Department of Health; 2022. Available from: https://comorbidityguidelines.org.au/grief-and-loss/managing-grief-and-loss
17. Currier JM, Neimeyer RA, Berman JS. Assisting the bereaved: A systematic review of the evidence for grief counselling. Death Stud. 2008;32(6):507-36. Available from: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26415735